Friday Letters

Dear Readers,

Let me introduce you to Salem Sue. She's the world's largest Holstein cow statue...located 

in New Salem, along Interstate 94 between Dickinson and Bismarck, North Dakota.

Everybody say, "Hello Sue!"

Dear Pregnancy Brain,

You are not my friend. You know what happened yesterday? I gave a thank you card to 

one of my coworkers for the gifts she gave me...and I actually forgot to fill the card out. I just put

her name on the inside of the card, stuck it in the envelope, sealed it and wrote her name on the

front. Genius I tell you.

Dear Alcohol & Drugs,

I've seen a lot of families suffering because of you lately...please just stop. 

There are 11 employees at my job and we are all the busiest we've been in 

over 20 years. If you weren't a problem, we wouldn't have jobs. Yet here we are, day

in and day out.

Dear Husband,
I came home the other night after a long day at work, to all of the laundry done. 
You my dear, are a rock star.

Dear DVR,

You and I have a date this weekend. The Voice, CSI, NCIS, Top Chef, 

Grey's Anatomy. I cannot wait!

Dear Elliptical Machine,

With the time change coming tomorrow night, you and I will also be having frequent

dates, since it will be dark now by the time I get home from work. It's time

to dust off the cobwebs!

Dear Christmas Music,

It's only a little while longer that you and I have to hide quietly in my office together,

before we can actually turn the volume up for all of the world to hear...and not be

publicly shamed. Soon, my friend, soon.

That's all for today my friends! Hope you have a happy weekend!

.

Friday Letters

Dear Baby H,

I love you SO much. However, I do not love it when you kick my ribs. I know it's crowded in there, but please punch away on anything else besides my ribs.

-Your mom with sore ribs

Dear Government,

You all are acting like a bunch of idiots. I'm pretty sure what the American people want LESS than a higher debt ceiling is for America to declare bankruptcy. 

Congratulations on acting like a bunchof 5 year olds and throwing tantrums 

because you aren't getting your way.

-Pissed off voter

Dear Wheat Market,

I like where you're headed. If you could just keep on going up, I'd appreciate it.

-An anxious farmer

Dear Husband,

I hope you guys are having a blast in Vegas! Wish I was there, but I'm pretty sure I

couldn't waddle my way down the Strip with the rest of you. And I might get weird looks

if I was trying to shake my tailfeather in the clubs. And all of the smoking in the casinos?

Probably not a great idea for me.

-Your super jealous wifey

Dear Coworkers,

THANK YOU for throwing my baby shower this coming weekend! However,

please do not embarrass me by making me do something ridiculous!

-Your coworker who loves karma

Dear Green Bay Packers,

If you could quit getting injured that would be great. See,

my husband and I are coming to see you play in about a week,

and we'd appreciate it if you were healthy enough to win the game.

-Packers fan 

Dear Fall Weather,

I am LOVING you right now! Cool days, scarves, heated seats, soup...love it all!

-Your cool-weather friend

Dear Readers,

Hope you all have a great weekend!