Friday Letters

Dear Baby H,

I love you SO much. However, I do not love it when you kick my ribs. I know it's crowded in there, but please punch away on anything else besides my ribs.

-Your mom with sore ribs

Dear Government,

You all are acting like a bunch of idiots. I'm pretty sure what the American people want LESS than a higher debt ceiling is for America to declare bankruptcy. 

Congratulations on acting like a bunchof 5 year olds and throwing tantrums 

because you aren't getting your way.

-Pissed off voter

Dear Wheat Market,

I like where you're headed. If you could just keep on going up, I'd appreciate it.

-An anxious farmer

Dear Husband,

I hope you guys are having a blast in Vegas! Wish I was there, but I'm pretty sure I

couldn't waddle my way down the Strip with the rest of you. And I might get weird looks

if I was trying to shake my tailfeather in the clubs. And all of the smoking in the casinos?

Probably not a great idea for me.

-Your super jealous wifey

Dear Coworkers,

THANK YOU for throwing my baby shower this coming weekend! However,

please do not embarrass me by making me do something ridiculous!

-Your coworker who loves karma

Dear Green Bay Packers,

If you could quit getting injured that would be great. See,

my husband and I are coming to see you play in about a week,

and we'd appreciate it if you were healthy enough to win the game.

-Packers fan 

Dear Fall Weather,

I am LOVING you right now! Cool days, scarves, heated seats, soup...love it all!

-Your cool-weather friend

Dear Readers,

Hope you all have a great weekend!