On Being A Farmer's Wife...

Farmer's are some of the hardest working people out there. They have to work 7 days a week, sometimes around the clock, and long days in extreme heat and cold. All just hoping they break even at the end of the year. If you make a profit, even better. 

I could go on and on about the many nuances of their jobs, but that's not what I'm here to talk about today. I want to talk to you about what it's like to be the woman behind the farmer. I'm here to tell you...it isn't easy.

The past 4 years of our marriage that we've lived on the farm, I've had to learn a lot of things. The first summer was sort of a crash course in what was expected of me and my role on the farm, and I still learn things all the time.

There is one word that can sum all of it up: Sacrifice.

One of the first things I learned, is that what you want, does not always come first. Sometimes it doesn't even come second or third. And sometimes you are dead last. And you have to be ok with it. Even if you're not ok with it, you have to act like it.  Your family is going on a camping trip in the middle of the summer? Too bad, there's hay to be put up. Friend's wedding in the Spring? Looks like I'm going solo.

There are a lot of nights I spend alone during the spring and summer, and the only time I see my husband is in the morning, when he comes home to eat, shower and go to sleep, or if I have to run something out to the field to him. I do also work in town however, so I probably would see him more if I didn't work. You learn to cherish every opportunity you have with him. And if he asks you to go sit in the tractor with him? You go. No questions asked.

If I've had a bad day at work or have been doing housework all day, sometimes I think about complaining, or want a foot or back rub. But then I think about how hard my husband works during his 14 hour days, and that I get to sit on my butt in a cool/warm office all day, and think that a back rub is probably exactly what he needs. That and a hot meal. They don't ask for much.

And sometimes he needs your help with something. Do I always want to do it? No. You can ask Patrick, I used to complain all the time if I had to go help him do something and didn't want to. It became a point of contention between us, and since then I've tried to be better about it. He doesn't want to be out there at 9 o clock at night all the time either, so it will get done quicker if I quit complaining and just go help. And a bonus for me, is that I get some of my best pictures when I go out and help him.

 The biggest sacrifice a farmer's wife makes is time. Time is precious between us and I try to take every opportunity I can when I have it. He tries to give me time when he can, but it's just an understanding you have to have that sometimes your attention goes on the back burner for the time being.
 
Is it easy? Hell no. It's a hard job. But being his wife, my job is to support him in what he does, encourage him when he's frustrated, and try and make things as easy as possible for him around the house. 

At the end of the day, is it worth it? Absolutely, definitely, wouldn't change a thing. But was it a difficult transition to make? Without a doubt. Like in any marriage, you have to find a balance and make sacrifices. Ours is just a little different than most. 

(Excuse the chubby faces...this was 40 lbs ago for me and 20 for Patrick!)

 Do you have any questions for this farmer's wife? I'd love to answer them! And if you one of my fellow farm wives, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for doing everything that you do. I know we never hear it enough.