Big Bertha

So there's actually a part 2 to my whole basketball game adventure last night. And her name is Bertha. As I'm sitting there bored out of my mind, this woman sitting about 5 feet to my left is rather loud. At first I wasn't listening to her, but when I realized that I would rather listen to her than watch girls high school basketball things became a liiiiiitle more interesting.

About halfway through the second quarter Bertha got a phone call. She started screaming and shrieking and was SO excited. I seriously thought someone had called her to tell her they were engaged, or having a baby or something. So she finishes shrieking like a stuck pig, and tells the people around her what is going on....her husband had just called to her let her know the grocery store called, and her shipment of Hot 'n' Spicy microwavable PORK RINDS had arrived. No I am not shitting you, and grab your jaw off of the floor.

Thank goodness I was texting my friend Celeste to share this joyous occasion, or else I may have laughed so hard at this woman I would have hurt her feelings. No seriously, I'm still not kidding. She special ordered a box of pork rinds.

Then throughout the whooooooole night she couldn't stop talking about these pork rinds. And yes, they are microwavable apparently. Have any of you ever had pork rinds? They are literally the skin of a pig, deep fried. I've had the hot n spicy ones, and I actually like them. Are they life-changing for me like they are for Bertha? Absolutely not. I haven't had them in years.

I start surveying this lunatic next to me, wondering where on God's green earth she crawled out of. She had this awesome hat by the way:



Yes, it took super-secret ninja skills to get this, don't worry.

And literally, two hours later, she was still telling these people about these pork rinds that she special ordered from the grocery store. It gets better: HER HUSBAND BOUGHT THEM FOR HER AS HER BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm telling you, I can't make this shit up!!! I'm probably going to be permanently cast out of my small town for posting this picture, but it just may be worth it. And most likely I'm probably related to the woman, cause it seems like our family is always related to the weird ones...more on that post to come at a later date.

PORK RINDS FOR EVERYBODY!!!!!