For those of you who haven't, let me explain. The process of cow tipping happens like this:
1) This process is best done with a group of friends.
2) Wait until it is VERY dark outside, and grab a flashlight.
3) Sneak into the pasture veerrrrrry quietly. Now this next part is very important...if it's freezing cold outside, you're usually ok because all of the cow turds are frozen. If it's above 32 degrees and it has been for several days, you might want to wear your yucky shoes cause you're likely to run into a shitbomb somewhere in the field.
4) Sneak up verrrrryyyyyyy slowly and VERY quietly. When you get close enough to a cow, one person quickly SHINES the light in their eyes so they can't see anything, while everyone else runs up and pushes the cow over!
5) BAM! It hits the ground, it's startled, and jumps back up. Meanwhile, you and your friends are laughing hysterically at what just happened!
Sounds like a boot-stompin' good time huh?!?!?!
Well....I'm gonna burst your bubble....
This shit ain't real!!!!
I know, I know, I'm sorry. I can honestly tell you that I believed it until my early twenties, before I lived on a ranch with several hundred cows.
Have you noticed when I take pictures of cows and post them on here, they are all usually standing in a line facing me? Like this:
This is usually about how close they will let you get to them. If you get any closer, they'll run away. It usually goes a little something like this:
Now, I want you to logistically think about this: do you think that you could run up to a 1,600 pound animal and just push it over? Also, they sleep lying down. Can't really push them over when they're sleeping at night then, can you? I would love to see someone run up to a cow, the cow just stand there, and let you push it over. Good luck with that! If any of them let you touch them, you have to stand there, with your hand out or with a bucket of grain, and they will come to YOU.
So, I'm sorry for dashing all of your hopes and dreams of going cow-tipping if you ever come to my ranch or are on a ranch somewhere else. Sorry!
On another note, who wants to go snipe hunting???
lol, so funny!!
ReplyDeleteLet's go spine hunting! lol! I look like a city girl but the country girl comes out at times, I've pulled this prank on someone before!
HAHA! I thought this was real too until I got older. However, in college we did go ride a cow in the middle of the night after leaving the bar! LOL!
ReplyDeleteThis cracks me up I so thought this was real unto we decided to give it a try when I was in high school a friend had cows but like you said we never could get close enough and of course hot summer and shitbomb not so good.
ReplyDeleteLove this post and I can see already we will be besties!
This was a great post! What the heck is snipe hunting?
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad, sad realization that such a hobby doesn't truly exist... :o) I guess it makes me feel better knowing no one can surprise a cow in the middle of the night and tip it over - that's just plain mean!
ReplyDelete